Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
names
I got my cat from this girl who had gotten two kittens and decided she could only keep one... so after judging their personalities, she picked the one that was more of an asshole and advertised her on CL. I ended up getting her, and being a creepy spinster who will inevitably end up with 7 more by the age of 40, I posted some pictures of her on Facebook. A few weeks later, the girl I got Maxi from, who had friended me on facebook the day after the kitten exchange, which weirdly took place in a parking lot off Pike and Bellevue as though it was something illicit, posted a comment under one of the pictures.
"Aww, Maxi's so cute! She's not dead, is she? Because... her brother is. :( "
Fearing a possible genetic disorder and really not wanting to come home from work one day to a dead cat, I messaged her to ask what happened, and she said "he died of Cat Shock. I don't really understand what it is, you should google it." So I did, and apparently Cat Shock is exactly like human shock, in that it can only happen when a cat has a massive trauma or injury... so like, not acceptable as a sole explanation for death at all. Anyway, the point of this is that recently I guess she got a new cat, named Garlic, which her photo album explains is named after the old cat, whose name was Garfield. Which was crazy to me, because is something really named after something else if it only shares the first three letters? BECAUSE also, my grandma had a sister who died before she (my grandma) was born, and the sister's name was Dorothy, so when my grandma was born they named her Doris (worst name ever) SUPPOSEDLY after Dorothy. Is this a coincidence or is the three letter tribute a thing?
"Aww, Maxi's so cute! She's not dead, is she? Because... her brother is. :( "
Fearing a possible genetic disorder and really not wanting to come home from work one day to a dead cat, I messaged her to ask what happened, and she said "he died of Cat Shock. I don't really understand what it is, you should google it." So I did, and apparently Cat Shock is exactly like human shock, in that it can only happen when a cat has a massive trauma or injury... so like, not acceptable as a sole explanation for death at all. Anyway, the point of this is that recently I guess she got a new cat, named Garlic, which her photo album explains is named after the old cat, whose name was Garfield. Which was crazy to me, because is something really named after something else if it only shares the first three letters? BECAUSE also, my grandma had a sister who died before she (my grandma) was born, and the sister's name was Dorothy, so when my grandma was born they named her Doris (worst name ever) SUPPOSEDLY after Dorothy. Is this a coincidence or is the three letter tribute a thing?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
King County Code Hit Parade
12.60.010 Prohibited forms of entertainment. It is unlawful and contrary to the public morals
and good order in any place open to the public to:
and good order in any place open to the public to:
B. Conduct, permit or allow the singing of an obscene song or conversation or discourse in
obscene language, or dancing in an obscene or immoral manner
D. Conduct, permit or allow any lecture, or moving or motion picture or slide to be shown,
discussing or depicting venereal diseases or concerning sex subjects; or to sell or offer for sale any sex
literature in connection therewith. (Res. 11211 Items 1 - 4, 1949).
discussing or depicting venereal diseases or concerning sex subjects; or to sell or offer for sale any sex
literature in connection therewith. (Res. 11211 Items 1 - 4, 1949).
Chapter 12.56
BODY STUDIOS
BODY STUDIOS
12.56.010 Defined. As used in this chapter, a "body studio" is any premises, other than a
massage parlor or public bathhouse as defined in Chapter 6.40, and licensed as such, upon which is
furnished for a fee or charge or other like consideration the opportunity to paint, massage, feel, handle or
touch the unclothed body or an unclothed portion of the body of another person... and includes any such premises which is advertised or represented in any manner whatsoever as
a "body painting studio," "model studio," "sensitivity awareness studio," "communication center"...(Ord. 2605 § 1, 1976).
massage parlor or public bathhouse as defined in Chapter 6.40, and licensed as such, upon which is
furnished for a fee or charge or other like consideration the opportunity to paint, massage, feel, handle or
touch the unclothed body or an unclothed portion of the body of another person... and includes any such premises which is advertised or represented in any manner whatsoever as
a "body painting studio," "model studio," "sensitivity awareness studio," "communication center"...(Ord. 2605 § 1, 1976).
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Only a true slacker genius could read my mind...
And create this...
http://www.readatwork.com/
It's an effing amazing site that allows you to read short fiction under the guise of working on all sorts of things. Best part! Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince" via powerpoint. GENIUS. The first I saw graphs whizz in, I almost pissed my terribly un-ergonomic work chair.
New Zealanders: Some day we will meet and I will tongue kiss you for this. That's right. DFK.
http://www.readatwork.com/
It's an effing amazing site that allows you to read short fiction under the guise of working on all sorts of things. Best part! Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince" via powerpoint. GENIUS. The first I saw graphs whizz in, I almost pissed my terribly un-ergonomic work chair.
New Zealanders: Some day we will meet and I will tongue kiss you for this. That's right. DFK.
And The Creepiest Response Award Goes To....
in reference to my craiglist posting:
Yo [sic] seam [sic] like a very nice person! I sincerely hope the trucker sees your post and replies to you. I really think most women would be upset, close thier [sic] window and never open it again. I have been fortunate a couple times to see a women going about her business when she didn't know I could see her. I have never had the courage to honk or say anything because I thought I would be viewed as a creap [sic] and it my fauld [sic] for watching. I don't mean anything by it, but sometimes it happens. I like what I see and I don't turn my head. Does that make me a bad person? So, if he doesn't reply to you just remember you helped one person feel better about himself. If it happens to me again, maybe I'll say "thank you" to her for making my day a little better. Have a nice day!!! Tom
Yo [sic] seam [sic] like a very nice person! I sincerely hope the trucker sees your post and replies to you. I really think most women would be upset, close thier [sic] window and never open it again. I have been fortunate a couple times to see a women going about her business when she didn't know I could see her. I have never had the courage to honk or say anything because I thought I would be viewed as a creap [sic] and it my fauld [sic] for watching. I don't mean anything by it, but sometimes it happens. I like what I see and I don't turn my head. Does that make me a bad person? So, if he doesn't reply to you just remember you helped one person feel better about himself. If it happens to me again, maybe I'll say "thank you" to her for making my day a little better. Have a nice day!!! Tom
How I Slowly Move From Place To Place On The Internet
You Scared Me In My Bathroom - w4m - 24 (Capitol Hill)
Reply to: mailto:pers-732742994@craigslist.org?subject=You%20Scared%20Me%20In%20My%20Bathroom%20-%20w4m%20-%2024%20(Capitol%20Hill)Date: 2008-06-25, 5:21PM PDT
Me: At my sink, in my bathroom, in my 2nd floor apartment, washing my face, looking forward to a journey into slumber courtesy of Tylenol PM. Hair pulled back in scrunchy, face covered in exfoliant beads and water. Wearing Umbros from middle school and a bleach covered t-shirt.
You: Trucker of indiscriminate age, race, and appearance (my contacts were out) loitering at a red light on Bellevue and Denny, honking your big truck horn over and over and over. When I looked out the window, there you were, waving gleefully at me. I think you may have mouthed "hi" or maybe you said it and I just couldn't hear over the incessant honking. You could have stopped honking once I looked. I waved back at you and then we made awkward eye contact until the light changed and you drove away with a few final honks of appreciation for my nighttime cleansing routine. Don't worry, I don't think you're creepy... only lonely from long nights spent hauling goods across America. If you ever pass my street again, feel free to pull over and come on up. I won't have sex with you or touch you in any way, but I did just get cable OnDemand so we could watch Intervention and I can microwave you a chicken patty or something, and then you can watch me watch my face again because I guess it's pretty hot. But then you have to leave.
Location: Capitol Hill
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
AND, one response I got:
"a little full of oneself perhaps?"
TROO
Reply to: mailto:pers-732742994@craigslist.org?subject=You%20Scared%20Me%20In%20My%20Bathroom%20-%20w4m%20-%2024%20(Capitol%20Hill)Date: 2008-06-25, 5:21PM PDT
Me: At my sink, in my bathroom, in my 2nd floor apartment, washing my face, looking forward to a journey into slumber courtesy of Tylenol PM. Hair pulled back in scrunchy, face covered in exfoliant beads and water. Wearing Umbros from middle school and a bleach covered t-shirt.
You: Trucker of indiscriminate age, race, and appearance (my contacts were out) loitering at a red light on Bellevue and Denny, honking your big truck horn over and over and over. When I looked out the window, there you were, waving gleefully at me. I think you may have mouthed "hi" or maybe you said it and I just couldn't hear over the incessant honking. You could have stopped honking once I looked. I waved back at you and then we made awkward eye contact until the light changed and you drove away with a few final honks of appreciation for my nighttime cleansing routine. Don't worry, I don't think you're creepy... only lonely from long nights spent hauling goods across America. If you ever pass my street again, feel free to pull over and come on up. I won't have sex with you or touch you in any way, but I did just get cable OnDemand so we could watch Intervention and I can microwave you a chicken patty or something, and then you can watch me watch my face again because I guess it's pretty hot. But then you have to leave.
Location: Capitol Hill
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
AND, one response I got:
"a little full of oneself perhaps?"
TROO
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