Monday, April 28, 2008

happy 10th to last day of work!


Yay for quitting! I greatly admire my cohort's decision to depart a stagnant job and fly free into the world. A few words of advice:

By now, others have heard the news that you are leaving. If your quitting experience is any like my recent Springtime Quit, look forward in the next two weeks to frequent conversations that go a little something like this.
OTHER PARTY: So I hear you're leaving us!
YOU: ha! yep. yep I am
OP: (stares, arms folded, kind of rocking back and forth on feet) Huh.
Y: Yep, pretty weird.
OP: (Breaks eye contact, idly handles something on your desk)
YOU: So yeah, who knows. Weird. I mean. So. Ha-ha.
OP: Well, good luck! We'll miss you around here! Good luck!
YOU: yeah, totally, thank you. Also I'll be here for the next two weeks. So... cool. Yeah. Huh.

The best will be THIS friday, when guaranteed some people will think it's your last day, and will approach you to have even more awkward conversations, or will walk by you and shout something like, "Last Day!" and then you'll have to yell down the hall after them, your voice trailing off, "NO I still have a week left so I'll see you Monday I guess "

And then when your last day FINALLY comes and you are bidding farewell to people you don't care about and never wish to see again, awkward goodbyes peppered with false promises to keep in touch even as both sets of eyes glaze over with the effort of summarily erasing one anothers names from your memory, so that in a matter of months you can run into that person at a Starbucks or perhaps a Build-a-Bear workshop and take comfort in the fact that they have no validity in your life and are now no different from the thousands of other ex coworkers, friends, classmates, family members, drunken makeout partners, and disappointing pets you have erased from your radar over the years. Unless they add you on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Myspace, and then you still might have to go through the trouble of making your life look cooler than it actually is, by which I mean disguise the fact that your most recent Friday night consisted of getting high by yourself and playing "Snakebite" with your cat*. Not to make this about me or anything.
Also you should stock up on scissors/tape/nice pens/yellow legal pads, because man those are nice to have around.

* How to play Snakebite: poke finger at and around biting cat's face while saying "snakebite!" in a high pitched voice until cat gets bored/you start bleeding. Thanks go to Braiden Eilers for the invention of this game.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Another sweet part of quitting: IT rando who walks up to you and asks, "Your name's Ingrid, right? I hear you quit."
Gonna miss you, buddy-pal!

1L Side Projects said...

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