Reasons why my boyfriend will likely leave me in the next few days...

-I throw irrational fits because I can't find a seat at a bar.
-I throw irrational fits because I can't drink a margarita or eat mexican food at a give second.
-I have an extraordinarily low tolerance for clutter--including people.
-I'm pretty bad at sharing a bed and am convinced that no bed is big enough for two people to share.
-I talk in the middle of scary/suspensefuly/violent movies to reassure myself and ruin the best parts.
-I often discuss my repulsion to little children.
-I often pee with the bathroom door open.
-I insist on talking about the fact that my little brother has a hot friend.
-I wake him up from peaceful slumber to kill a spider, that isn't really that big, knowing that he hates spiders and i'm just lazy.
-I constantly talk about spontaneously moving to different countries...
-Then follow it up with equally ridiculous grad school schemes that often involve intimate encounters with other men.
-I complain for hours about going to his memorial day barbecues.
-I have a hard time staying at home.
-I sort of hate lingerie.
-Ditto on much of anything else.